So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
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cat food counts as protein by the way
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
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you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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