Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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