You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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