woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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