maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
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I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
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Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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