even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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