too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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