You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize