I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize