You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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