Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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