Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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