what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize