Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize