It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
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Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
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I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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