hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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