What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize