Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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