$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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