i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize