4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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