Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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