If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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