This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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