nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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