lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
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