It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
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Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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