Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
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Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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