I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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