i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
there is glitter all over my balls
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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