A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize