I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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