if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize