I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I just cut my nipple shaving
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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