I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize