considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
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i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
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soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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