I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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