Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked my hip out of place.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
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