Are we in a gay sports bar?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize