And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
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The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
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i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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