I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Slut skills are useful in every country.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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