The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Green mimosas i think yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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