So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize