He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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