Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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