Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize