It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
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