my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize