So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
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my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
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Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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