Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
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He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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